Let me dream.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I hate it.

I hate the way they trample all over me and my pride, telling me as if to just accept the fact of repeating is for the best. I hate it that I spent so much time thinking about what I really want, and when I thought I had a firm answer, they present another option to me, and close off the one I had at first.

So what am I supposed to feel? Am I just supposed to let you people haul me here and there, as and when you like and just fall into the great plans of everyth? Are my opinions and feelings not a deciding factor? Is this not ultimately my life, and my choice to make?

Stop telling me that you think I can do it, and stop telling me that it is possible or just try. Stop telling me that the school is allowing me to advance because they think I can carry on. The school knws nuts about me and my learning attitude. And I knw, I knw, that I can't do it.

This is not something I can experiment with, try out to see how it goes because it is about my life and there is no turning back once I choose to step forward. And unless I am 100% sure that I am willing to give up my everyth in this 2 months to study, I am not going to want to move along.

What is the point? I can't make it but you push me up anyway? My thoughts are starting to falter and my initial decision not as firm as before. I knw I have the chance now, but do I want it?

All day I am wishing for a sign from heaven or someone wise enough to just tell me what to do. Instead of posing me more questions which does nothing but turn my thoughts in circles. I don't want to move up having accomplished nothing and bearing such bad records this year. I'm just not sure that everyth I do in the next is going to be able to cover it all up.

Everyth and everyth.
Is crushing me and I am drowning.

(back to the top)

Profile

Sinyee. 17.
Headstrong

Wants a day of extensive retail therapy, good food and fun.

Tagboard

@astep-ahead.blogspot.com (:

others

Facebook. X.

2Complicated '06 <33. Hapsburg! RVFBT! RVTT.

Ariel. Ayesha. Beishan. ChenTao. ChingXin. Chiouyih. Eileen. Irene. Jaslin. Jasmine. Jennings. Junhao. Kailin. Matthias. Michelle. Mingjie. Pei Qi. Peishi. Rachel. Sara. Sharman. Shaun. Sherry. Shiyuan. Sinyee. Sylvia. TayLin. Tzeteng. Weikai. Winnie. Xinyu. Yanjie. Yeejin. YingYing. Yuhong. Yunrou. Yunyi. Zhijun.

Blogskins. Imageshack. Imeem. Mixpod. Photobucket.