Let me dream.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Am feeling a whole lot calmer now, after a Mr Bean and a Slurpee. Plus of course, the people here are making much less noise because it is so late.

I shall properly recount what I had started out saying without all the profanities.

Firstly, about promos. Chem paper was screwed up because of my half-functioning GC. My heart was pumping so quickly I thought it would break out from my chest. I felt even more helpless when my invigilator told me he couldn't help me for this, as I wondered whether I had to manually calculate everyth, including log functions ._.

But luckily he helped me borrow a scientific calculator from Yunrou afterward. Anyw, I screwed the paper totally. Maybe I just focused too much on econs and didn't have enough time studying for chem properly. I couldn't even do the most basic questions and my mind was blank the whole time. So well, dunked one paper.

Had to borrow GC from Melvin for math paper next day. But I had already described what it was all like in one of the previous posts. So, no need for more elaboration. Anyw, Yunrou and Melvin are major life-saviours! Need to treat them to something man.. Hmm..

History paper was stupid. Gave up studying 1am the night before and just went to sleep. The paper was screwed to the max. I would be thankful to scrape S for it. I just sat around after finishing the first essay which I could write something for abd waited for time to pass. This promos is really quite badly done. I guess I am down for retaining. But..whatever.

Feel like time really changes people. But I am still the same. My cousin from malaysia just came over here to have a little gathering with my mum and all the other aunties, and she looks so different. And so does all my friends. I'm just the only one strolling around on the same old place and not moving forward.

I'm staying in this protected little zone of mine and not really seeing far out of it.It just seems like I am still 10 years old. Things need to change. But it is taking so much to change. Time will come when I become like everyone else. But seeing others already like this, I can't help wondering whether everyone had moved on without me.

Now come to think of it, it's no wonder Jianjie and other cousins always say I look like a kid. It's because I do. I just never change and forever look the same. No improvements. People at 17 are wearing nice dresses, going out to club and drink or whatever. I can't even reach home late. This little protected environment is what making me different? We were so happy to go home when the sky turns dark, now how pathetic is that.

People at 17 are everyth I am not. And when am I going to snap out of it to act 17, and look 17. I don't behave 17, I behave like 12. I am sick of it too, but I have no means of making it better. Everytime I see my old friends and whoever. And see how different we are. It keeps me wondering.

So when will I start becoming 17..

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Sinyee. 17.
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Wants a day of extensive retail therapy, good food and fun.

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