Let me dream.

I want to get better.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Friday is coming to an end soon, and the weekends can't really be fully utilised for studying. Still feeling so tired, especially after my 4km today at the stadium around Pioneer with Wenyi. Nontheless, felt accomplishment, finished it in around 25 minutes. Then we did 20 sit-ups because Seow felt like it. Stretched, and walked home.

Having friendly match tmr at Catholic High, which is like at Bishan. Need to wake up crazy early, so I guess I'd better sleep soon. Am really feeling worn out from the whole week which seemed to drag on and is neverending.

Still, feeling happy since my EoM had been approved for printing by Ms Tee already. So, my choice to fight fatigue and do my EoM drafts 4 and 5 in the past 2 nights had paid off (:

It's just 3 weeks left to promos, and no, I have no so much as started on any bit of revision. Am feeling quite stressed out, but I can't do anyth about it because I can't even finish all the homework that the teachers are drowning us in, not to even mention revision. I really feel helpless, so what am I supposed to do?

Why can they do it, and I just can't? Has it something to do with me, or something out of my control? I really need to do something about this, but everyth around me is not making things easier. I want just simple things, to start my revision, do my homework, and to have more sleep. Why is even that so difficult?

As I saw what happened in my face today, I contemplated the reason for the action. And realised that I had just been running away the whole time. If I really sit down and think about it, all the topics that are tested and I am unfamiliar with is intimidating. Maybe that action will be the justification for my lost and messed up feelings, but I knw that I will not, and cannot crumble, simply because I have not tried hard enough yet.

Still, I feel lost. And trapped.

Can you tell me what do I have to do to catch up? Can you make it stop? All the things around me that I don't want, and don't need. Can it stop, please? I constantly feel irritated at all the nitty gritty things that don't matter, maybe because I'm overflowing soon. Can I please take a breather? And remember where I am and what I am working for?

I have lost all senses in the numbing rush. Happiness has fallen to negative.
But no one has the time to stop and care, because they are all in the rush themselves.

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Sinyee. 17.
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