Let me dream.

Please stop.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I have no idea why I'm feeling sick again. What's with the queasy feeling in my stomach the whole time, urgh =/

Anyw, I wna say that, me and liow won the second prize card for the Netbook today. And our reaction?
The first time: OMG, are we lucky or what?!
Today: WTF scam la!

He's probably right that there are thousands of people who have the prize card. Because we saw one guy at the other table with it too. 3 out of 10 all in the span of 30 minutes at JP? Not bloody likely. URGH I think I'll never get that Netbook D: I'm condemning LJS along with Subway if I don't get to win it man ):

Oh and also, we noticed that the 4 people sitting to our left, plus the other 2 on our right, all got the exact same design for the mobile phone screen wiper. This is so disturbing, I'll never eat at JP LJS if I want to get something that is what I want. It's probably better to win a "Thank you for your participation", than get the stupid prize card and have it slip out of your hands!

Pictures from 1308:

Our giant meals!

Me and the huge burger :D

Homework this weekend is as usual, crazy much. Haven't accomplished anyth today because I spent all my time researching for history, but to no avail. Urgh life damn tough D: Need to get more productive than this man, 4 weeks to promos. Damn disheartening.

Time for some self-reflection? I guess.

I thought I knew what I wanted. So clearly and I thought I had it all in my reach. But apparently, I guess not. It's all still so far away. How long more is it gna take me to finally embrace things, or how much more do I have to change to make everyth right? I'm really sick, and so tired. I don't knw how to describe things just that I am so sick of life right now.

Everytime, something just happens and makes me change my mind all over again. I'm pacing up and down square 1, and nothing I could actually do to hurl myself out of this depressing quicksand that makes me sink deeper and deeper. Or is there? I'd like to think I have all the control, and I thought so. But maybe not. My resolute each time crushed by fatigue and my wavering determination.

I don't even have time to hesitate and pace around anymore, waiting for a decision, for me to sort out my thoughts. The other day, was just discussing the issue with class girls. Retain? Or scrape pass? For now, I'm at least scraping the promotion criteria, but it's not enough. And I can't afford to drop even a little. I guess, we all knw what we want, somehow. But we lack the urgency and motivation to do it.

For me? Way more than that. I need some things to stop reeling me out of control. Seriously. I am so certain it would help. And I am so desperate to have it stop, but it just won't. It just comes back to haunt me again and again. Relentlessly, and cold heartedly.

Can you understand this struggle? Can you see that I am trying? No. I don't think you do.
I wish you do, just because I am so sick of explaining it. I really wish you do. Because I want it to stop.

Or do I just have to admit that I have no control over my life.

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Sinyee. 17.
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Wants a day of extensive retail therapy, good food and fun.

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