Let me dream.

My world is coming to an end..

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

I feel so tired, so very tired. And I am still sick. Not getting any better because I can't get enough rest. Nothing helps anyth. I guess I really need a break, but it isn't coming.

Okay, so I skipped PT today without informing anyone. So I did it because my legs and shoulders and back were aching like crazy from the 10 rounds I ran on Monday. So I was wrong. So I got banned from training tmr, so I deserve it.
Enough said.

I am just getting so, so, sick of all this going on and on. It won't ever stop and give me peace. It constantly reminds me of my source of pain. I just want to say that I don't care anymore, it doesn't even matter. I don't have what it takes, and I don't care.

So what do you want to do to me now?

I held back at the start because I knw it isn't nice to be like this. But accept it! Things have changed! I accept the fact that I have NO whatsoever passion you guys always like to talk about. I dislike the way things are. So you can think I'm difficult. And it isn't like I am out there to please every single one. So, think whatever you like. See if I care.

For fuck's sake. The work I am owing is piling up into shitloads and I am still struggling to complete them everyday. So everyone has the same things to do. But so what, I have the choice, and I DON'T want to do it. Still thinking that is more important? Sorry, but I can only explain that we have different priorities.

So, just take me out and scram somewhere and never let me hear anyth again.

My PW topic changed again. Time and again, she gave us hope but snatched it out of our hopeful grasps and smashed it across the floor. I feel somewhat frustrated. After so long, we're still circling on the spot. Not making progress.

I knw this is not anybody's fault. But I am just so sick of everyth, all the shit that I keep getting from everyone around me.

The constant yakking voices I hear in class that just WON'T STOP no matter how hard you shushed them, the stupid people all around who insist on this and that and act like complete freaks and wouldn't get off my case. All the idiots drowning me in their incessant POVs that I give no shit to.

Hey, give me a break. I am a human too, and I'm not Superwoman. I can't take two people's load of emotional turmoil all in one night and still carry on doing my work. I was as affected when you say something, but when you just run off like this.

Have you given a shit to how I feel?
Why am i always obliged to do things I don't want to? Why do people think it is okay for me to do it? Do I have a choice? When you come here and enforce your own thinking and mindset on me, then running off? Do you think that is right?

I live for no one. Not you, not my academics, not floorball. Not anyth but myself. And I do what I like. So please, stop thinking all the wrong things and all the obligations you think I am responsible for or commited to.

So do whatever you like. Because I really don't give a fucking damn to anyth anymore. Honestly. I can just quit and make all your lives less miserable.

Goodbye, don't come by anymore because I don't have nice things to say to you.

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Sinyee. 17.
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Wants a day of extensive retail therapy, good food and fun.

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