Let me dream.

Determinations

Monday, July 6, 2009

School's beginning all over again tmr. These past 4 days had felt like the holidays were here again, and minus the studying for MYEs. Didn't do much, other than re-reading my chinese novels, and just lagging around, or going out for a spin. Mundane days like this didn't feel that bad after all.

I wonder whether things are going to be the same when the new school term begins again. At the thought of lab lesson and PW tmr, got kind of turned off. There's still history, which by no means makes things any easier, if not harder. But I promised myself I got to try harder this time. And for a start, maybe I need to get a few more hours of sleep every night too. For the good of my focus in class and my growing eyebags ._.

Need. To. Get. Better.
I knw I keep saying this but I have no actions. But I am all set for change. I've got everyth I need, maybe except my heart. Need to get it back, hopefully the lessons tmr can capture it for me. I really, really wish that things will change this time. And of course, I'm not leaving things at just wishing. I will try my best to do it.

It might help if some people can ask me if I've done my homework/revision when they see me online at night. Okay, not your responsibility. It's mine. Okay, I knw.

THINGS WILL GET BETTER!!! RIGHT?
I need to show some people who thinks I'm no looks and no brains that I do have something other than air up there in the space between my ears. I am so desperate to prove my worth. So fucking desperate to see I am not a useless piece of shit. I will become better right? I will work harder and do better, right???

In. Your. Face.
Please wait patiently. Because I will do it. I really want myself to do it. And really really try.
Please wait for me. Because I will catch up with you. Please wait for me.

We will see tmr.

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Sinyee. 17.
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