Let me dream.

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

I haven't been updating regularly, and my posts are getting shorter.. Because there is simply nothing for me to post about of my life. My routine now is get up around late morning, bathe and head out to study till late evening then go home for dinner, slack for abit or study abit. And I sleep. And the cycle repeats.

Yesterday, I went downstairs to get a cup of Sweettalk with my brother. After a million years of not drinking it, it tastes horrible now. Totally disgusting. Is it just me? I've been too obsessed with Mccafe, tsktsk. And then my stupid brother complained that he's getting a brainfreeze. From Sweettalk -.-

I just finished my revision for econs today. And might I add I still have not touched my history things. Slow, but whatever. I must study late into the night to be productive.

Slept at 3am to study econs. And I had a very very warped dream, which will never come true in real life. It involved Boonlay being on the purple line on the MRT map, and the MRT travels on the road instead of on tracks ._. Maybe I'm too stressed already.

And. I. Need. Specs.
What the hell.

I realised this while I was playing Typing Maniac on Facebook. I can't really differentiate between a 'F' and 'P' at a quick glance. And some other letters. Maybe I have astigmatism. What. The. Shit. I don't want to become a stupid, bespectacled nerd, because that's how I look like when I put my dumb specs on.

My eyes are really going kuku. Anyhow, continuing mugging. And finally out tmr with fp :D
Life's good. (I've given up complaining that I am stupid and ugly and poor and talentless. I need to live with msyelf for the rest of my life.)

Goodnight all.

----

But it wasn't until we got to Gifted and Talented today after lunch, and Lilly started working on the shot list for this week's episode of Lilly Tells It Like It Is, And Boris got out his violin and started playing a concerto, and Michael put on headphones and started working on a new song for his band, that I realised it:

I have no special talent. I have no gift. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that I am a princess, I would be the most ordinary person alive.

I mean, all my friends have these incredible things they can do: Lilly knows everything there is to know and isn't shy of saying it in front of a camera. Michael can not only play guitar, and, like, fifty other instruments including the piano and drums, but he can also design whole computer programs. Boris has been playing his violin at sold-out Carnegie Hall concerts since he was eleven years old, or something. Tina Hakim Baba can read, like, a book a day. Shameeka knows about make-up and amoebas and Ling Su is an extremely talented artist.

But me?

Yeah, I can't do anything. I mean, nothing really well. Nothing better than anybody else.

I am just blah. I do not know why Michael even likes me, I am so talentless and boring.

..

I can't believe that all I thought I needed in order to achieve self-actualisation was the love of the man to whom I have pledged my heart. Knowing Michael loves me just makes it all worse. Because his incredible talentedness just makes the fact that I am not good at anything even more obvious.

--- Princess Diaries #4

And, I am not even a princess.

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Sinyee. 17.
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Wants a day of extensive retail therapy, good food and fun.

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