Let me dream.

Needs a break

Friday, May 15, 2009

I've finally got through the week alive. Feeling so tired especially after sleeping late in a feeble attempt to get some chem stuffs into my head last night. Last minute cramming really kills. Plus some people like to distract me with his webcam doing stupid things for me to see, tsktsk.

Anyw, the test was manageable. Still, it doesn't mean that I'm going to pass. Made a few careless mistakes here and there, but also got some questions right by luck.. So whether I'm going to pass the test or not, I only can tell when I get the paper back.

And! The bet is only open to Yuhong, Shaun and Jaslin because they tagged. All the rest...Hmm too bad, no tag = no interest in the ice-cream. 3 already can burn a hole in my pocket which was never full anyway. But anyw! Who said I'm passing the damn test.

Went out with fp after school today to have lunch. I had Subway cookies! Lagged around and went back to school for floorball PT. Didn't do the beep test. Seems rather challenging, but good that everyone managed to pass Mrs Chan's expectation of level 6 and above. Then we did some drills and stuff then was done for the day.

Our expectations for NAPFA is kind of unattainable. 2.4km run expected to be below 12 minutes. I think I have to remind myself that I am a human with restrictions and I can't run like Dash from The Incredibles. There will be a NAPFA test specially set up for sports CCA people at the end of the year to test our eligibility for school team (i.e. Gold or not). I think this really sucks. They don't even want to go by the normal standards. What, sports people are supposed to all be robots or supermen? Zzz.

Was told that we have to run 5km weekly and that is about 12 rounds. And then 10km monthly. Suddenly it feels like floorball became a source of my stress instead of something which I can relax and enjoy playing. Well, I knw our standards and expectations are different now. So I can only grumble and then carry on with it and keep my mouth shut.

I feel so tired while going home today. I don't even knw what is so straining or whether it is just me. I really feel like I want a break now, but then I have to trudge on to my neverending pile of work. All the tests are finally over for now, but I am reminded that I have history graded essay to write in lecture on Monday, so I need to prepare this weekend. Enough of 5 months of putting off history.

I don't even knw why we need to have a progress report for term 2 when we didn't really take that many tests. Just another piece of rubbish to bring home for my parents to mock at. U again. But then, I tried and I don't regret this time. Still, no one will believe me as usual. But I guess it's okay because I'll just get used to the fact that I am just what it is, which really is not alot.

I will get better.

PW is moving on to GPP and I am having group discussion on MSN tmr night. We are still in the process of choosing PI. And my plan only tells us to draft the contents page on Monday PW lesson. But then someone told me their GPP first draft is due next week. I swear, if he tells me on Monday it is due on Tuesday, this thing is going up to the top.

I don't care if he wants to fail all my assignments or make my life hard, I don't care if I hurt his feelings, this shit has got to stop. Meanwhile, I need to pick myself up and keep going. I really want my group to do well for PW and I need to plan well and lead well. Need to put off the procrastinations and let positive stress lead me on. Need to keep my head above the water.

I hope I survive and become stronger.

I'll go sleep now.

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Sinyee. 17.
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Wants a day of extensive retail therapy, good food and fun.

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