Let me dream.

Hectic

Saturday, February 28, 2009

I don't feel like writing my history essay. So I'm here to blog. Though I shouldn't be, but I shall.

Anyway, not going to backtrack anyth. Life's been about homework, studying-hard-then-getting-owned-for-tests, floorball trainings, lack of sleep, and such. Nothing very exciting. It's quite amazing that floorball has now expanded to 24-(wo)man strong, when it started out with less than 10. Friendly matches played against zonal champion, new drills and setting up of the game for trainings. Tournament rolling around at the end of March, hope for the best then.

Went out after training today and had Subway for brunch. Felt damn happy because for once, I could act like the price was non-existent and just order whichever I like. Costed me $12.60 for the meal alone, but I don't care. Time to give myself and fp a treat. Then as usual, homework at the library. Not much luck with my history essay. Done abit of chem tutorial 3 and that's about it. Uhhuh I'm a slacker, so what's new.

I think that life sucks. I don't want to be stuck in school everyday till about 4 or later, only to go home and not find rest, but homework to do. Once they are done, it's about bedtime already. I feel tired constantly, even though I have taken to sleeping as early as 1030pm sometimes. And this just makes it suck more. Let's not talk about the weekend that feels like it just isn't there.

24 hours just isn't enough.

This hectic lifestyle is screwing me up down left right because I cannot reach home early enough to complete my homework so that I do not have to stretch the time that I go to sleep. I am tired of even remotely trying to study for a test, yet get hit down so hard when I stare blankly at the question paper. Y'knw what, this really sucks.

Hello, this is a ground for my complaining and ranting. No need to come anymore.

Done with ranting. I shall just post some random overdue photos.

Hand crank :D Over the rainbow <33>

Double rainbow after thunderstorm. Csn you see the fainter one to the left?

Floorball CIP!

Okay that's all people, byebye.

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Unimportant, non-existent.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Hello people. Since I don't really have much homework to hand in tmr, I decided to come and post..

I've just questioned the importance of myself to the people around me these days. And what do I have to say? I found that I'm atually quite dispensable and unimportant really. I don't knw whether is it just me, or that when I pass people by in school, and I actually make an effort to smile or wave, said person would completely ignore me either by staring blankly at me before turning away, or just conveniently look at the floor, the ceiling, everywhere else but me?

I really don't knw man, so I dismissed it as myself being overly sensitive. Then came V'day. I think I have been quite stupid spending 30-40 bucks on my friends, and leaving less than 15 bucks on Acer. People who knw me should knw I am never too financially inclined. I feel like some rejected retard because apparently not many people remembered my existence, and I regret having spent so much and not leaving more for those that actually really matter and bother about me.

Our plans are always rearranged because somehow I don't have the means to afford whatever things we've planned. And might I say, it doesn't involve all the money I actually spent.

I might not be fair for saying this. I knw V'day isn't about getting back what you've given. But I just wanted to feel that little bit more appreciated for what little things I have done. I just wanted to let my friends knw that I have not forgotten about them, that I still care even if i have a relationship taking up much of my time normally. But looks like I was just being stupid because it's the other way round instead.

I knw I am not the best friend around. I knw I have the temperament now and then that everyone hates getting in the way of. But I try. And I really do. Even if you don't believe me, I do.

I just realised that nobody really needs me sticking around anymore, that it's okay if I'm there, and okay too even when I'm not. But somehow I don't knw why my existence have to be totally forgotten by so many.

So what's the problem with now? You? Me?
I don't knw man. I have just figured I got enough of people who stare blankly, then go on to talk and laugh happily with my friend right beside me. Like I'm not there. Like I'm invisible. Like you have to make it so freaking darn obvious that you I mean nothing to you.

Hello, I just want to clarify something. I am not a sidekick. Like me or not, you don't have to pretend like you can't see me.

Stop telling me to change, because no one out here is really worth me changing anyth about myself, if you don't knw how to appreciate me. People who appreciate me will accept me for everyth that I am, good or bad day, and not expect me to become something that you accept. Don't like it? It's okay.

Hey you, you and everyone else who made me miserable this V'day. Thanks for letting me knw I mean a big, fat nothing to you. Thanks for showing me that I actually have superpowers that allows you to see right through me. Thanks for teling me very blatantly that I am not the one you're looking for to share whatever you have. Thanks for nothing people.

Laugh all you want.
It's okay.

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Grr.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I am tired and cranky. Ultimately so today, because I slept way later than I was supposed to last night.

Goddamn, I'm feeling so pissed off at some stupid retard now. I don't knw whether that person is blind or just plain stupid. CAN YOU SEE I HAVE ALREADY DONE IT? Stop making us sound like people who doesn't knw how to follow simple instructions man. I saw everyone of us do it. If you're too blind or stupid to see it, or even check, please shut up and don't act smart around here. And if the problem was that it couldn't stay, it is none of my bloody business!

Zzz, tell me I'm not stuck with you for as long as I want to knw.

Tell me why I'm so pissed off? Topic sentence of this post is: I'm tired and cranky.
Byebye all the suckers of the world who contributed to my misery. You make my life colourful.

Yeah, right.

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Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Tests coming up in a couple weeks' time. I don't knw what to feel because I'm still running away from math and constantly getting stuck at my chemistry practicals. Like now, for instance.

The feeling kind of sucks to not knw what everyone else seem to knw. It sucks even more to wonder when would my math and chem lecturers actually try and make things a little easier for me and stop going fast like they're going to catch a train and claim that we're going too slowly. The worst thing, is still staying in a dangerously stuffy room in the late-morning-early-afternoon studying about Cold War with a nice droning voice ringing around my head. I just feel like dying.

Damn it, I need a break.
And yeah, I am not really looking forward to floorball training sucking away whatever little energy I have left tmr. Even though it doesn't require much of my braincells, and probably the littlelest thing I have to look forward in the day.

I wish I'm a whiz kid, that I get bored in lectures and tutorials because there's nothing I don't already knw being taught, instead of having no clue what the teacher is teaching. I wished I can do all my homework in about 5 minutes in one night so I can actually sleep enough and stop feeling like it's such a chore to get out of bed the next morning. I wished my day didn't have to end so darn late that when the whole world is leaving school for home, I am going back in to face another hour of economics tutorial.

I wished that Mondays and Tuesdays where all the lessons are cramped together, with History and PW, wouldn't take one million years to get through. I wished that from Wednesday to Friday where there are lots of breaks in between and remotely manageable lessons would stop flying past so quickly before I can even enjoy that bit of relaxation.

Before I knw it, it's the weekends. Floorball, homework, chores. Before I knw it, the weekends are over and Monday and Tuesday are here to haunt me. But they crawl past ever so slowly. Wednesday finally arrives. But before I knw it, the weekends are here and the cycle continues.

Knw the feeling?
Yeah, life sucks.

Just random venting. Back to work now if I am thinking of sleeping early tonight.

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Thursday, February 5, 2009

Hello people, I don't knw why I'm here.

Maybe it's just to run away from the homework waiting for me to complete before going to sleep. I realise that I haven't been making an effort to complete most of my homework these days since I got sick, and that's a long time ago. Ohmy, it's worrying.

What's more worrying is probably the first math lecture test which is coming up in 18 days. I've been counting down to it, because it is so darn worrying. Why? My goodness, I think I have a great lecturer as well as tutor man. So great I knw no shit they are talking half the time. Actually, make that all the time.

Grr.. Attending math lectures only serve to piss me off because the lecturer is so !)@#(*$&^%
And I'm not even the only one who is making noise about it, I just make exceptionally loud noises. Pfft.

Oh yeah man, I love us 5N girls, we're all such a gossipy bunch! Hahaha! Today we were late for econs lecture becuase we were busy gossiping in the canteen, LOL! And we went out to Vivo today during our 2 hour break too. Things are going pretty well, I would say (:

Okay that's all. What I have to face, I have to face sometime. Homework, here I come. And I shall be a good girl and sleep early so I can go to school and 'talk like a train' as Wenyi claims I do. Haha.

Good night people.

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Sick

Monday, February 2, 2009

Hello people, I'm here again. And I'm feeling terrible from the high fever and stomach upset from yesterday and today =/ 39.5 degrees sia, burnt my brains out already.

But on the bright side, I got out of running 8 rounds for PE lesson today. Even though I barely survived the day, urgh. Contemplating whether I should give school a miss tmr.

Erm, blankout. I forgot what I wanted to blog about.
Ohmy, I have no idea. Byebye people. Till next time.

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Sinyee. 17.
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