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2008 Yearender Wednesday, December 31, 2008 So finally, the last day of the year had rolled around. In less than 2 hours, it's going to be a whole new year, with supposedly new hopes and all. While everyone is most likely out now having fun and waiting to countdown and usher in the new year, I am stuck here again. As always. Well summarising 2008 in this post, looking back on the past year, and maybe some reflections.. New hopes for the year ahead? I dare not say, because I recall the hopes I held for 2008 this time last year, and it has been a terrible disappointment. Haha. 2008: Of setbacks, falling down, helpless days. Of learning, and seeing. Academically, a bad year. Recalling the start of 2008, I had new hopes. Lots of resolutions, determination to make it a good year. But somehow, things didn't start right. The new school term had been disastrous. Coupled with the stress from the tournament period, increase of training sessions, I lost that resolve along the way. I found myself devoting too much time and effort to trainings, I didn't have the energy to stay awake in classes. As a result, I flunked the term. Though things picked up during mid-years, it was too late and I stayed there without moving on. I think I owe alot to Mr Tan CY. We were more like friends than teacher and student. He'd said I depended too much on him, and I probably would agree. Many times he'd pushed me on, but lost the effect because I couldn't pick myself up. I knw I had disappointed him alot with my results. And that's why I am obliged to make next year better. In terms of CCA, a bad year too. Because of all the stress from my results and tournament, I was forced to withdraw from the nationals' team. At times I wondered why I even worked so hard for, because the chance was still taken away in the end. I lost heart and then I left. Just like this. 2008, my 7th, and last year in Table Tennis. Since starting out in P4, I'd been through so much for this. So many times I wanted to give up, but somehow I held on. And we left, just like this. No farewell, no nothing. Like we don't matter, like everyth is just, well..nothing. Regrets I've had a few but never had the chance to express it. I think Zhijun knws how I feel, I think we feel the same. I don't really accept that we are no longer a part of RVTT anymore. This is surreal and I hate soccer. Just like this. Everyth ended, so quickly and easily. I need to figure out what I really want. I hate soccer man, I don't even knw why I even landed myself in there in the first place. It's not a sport I enjoy, at least not with a bunch of guys. Every training session I'll be considering to pon, and I don't like the feeling of this. Working hard for CCA is a good feeling. It's good to knw that I am working hard for something, a goal or whatever. But I don't find that kind of passion in soccer. I might need to think what I really want about this. Overall, 2008 had been a bad year, because I saw through too much. I learnt too much. I've seen the same things happening to me over and over again, until I get too sick of complaining. 2008, I've gained and lost. These bad things happen for all the same reasons, until I don't knw who to believe anymore. These disappointments put me down again and again. Until I've been numbed and decided to put on that facade too. I wished things didn't have to be like this all the time.. Well, enough of those. On a better note. 2008, I grew closer with my bunch of juniors. Taylin, Yijun, Irene and Jean. Those who've been with me mostly through all the difficult and bad times. Those who've listened to me bitch incessantly when I'm not feeling good. Those who bitch along with me, who don't give me fake assurances. Who let me be who I want to be. No lies, no fakery. Of course, others I must credit too. Sharman who've mugged with me through all those exams, and we went crazy together. The one who shares with me my troubles and all the shit things happening in our lives. The friend who is truest, and which friendship will go on a long time. For all these things, I knw I'm not alone. Of course, some others, I will thank you personally. Ahaha. Now for my 2009: Of working hard, new hopes, new dreams. This year, I fell hard. I knw my next two years in RV is going to be difficult to survive. I knw that with my consistence I am not going to make it too far. I need change. I need to take on a different studying approach. I need to handle my committments properly so that I will neglect neither. This is no easy task, but I hope I will not lose myself along the way again. New hopes, new dreams. The dream that died this year shall be resurrected the next. If I am able to, I will. I am going to start believing in alot of things which I had been skeptical to in the past. I need to start listening and thinking in a different way. I need change. Well, I have high hopes for the year ahead. And I guess I will not give my dream up without a good fight. I shall have no regrets. Do things the right way. So there, 2009 is in 45 minutes. Happy New Year people. Self discovery Saturday, December 27, 2008 I've done quite a good bit of self discovery today. But I don't have alot of time or patience to write everyth down. I guess I still have got lots to figure out to better this. I hope everyth is going to be fine soon. Merry Christmas Thursday, December 25, 2008 Okay, it's pass midnight by abit, but there's 12 days to Christmas so it's technically still christmas now hehe. Anyhow, today's been quite a good day. Went out to Bugis in the early afternoon with FP to do some shopping. As in really-choosing-and-buying-stuffs kind of shopping. Which made both of us wind up feeling very tired haha. But I'm happy. Then went to my grandma's place for family dinner. It's been a long time since I last heard those mahjong sets in action and the chattering of my relatives. Had a home-ccoked but all the same great dinner and chatted with my cousins. I kind of missed this feeling. Feeling really tired now. And going out tmr to eat good stuff yaye :D So I think I should turn in early. I hope you people enjoyed your day and thanks to everyone who texted me to wish me, even though I may not knw your number because I am currently using my brother's phone, which doesn't have any of my contacts since he deleted them. And now I have to recover all my contacts on my own because my stupid brother deleted everyth. Urgh. Please help by texting and telling me who you are, thanks a bunch. Good night for now. Reflections Wednesday, December 24, 2008 Hello, it's Christmas Eve today. I wished I feel like it is actually Christmas Eve today. Because I don't. Ohwell, aside from the fact that my family doesn't celebrate Christmas or anyth. Can I feel the supposed joyous mood of this festive season at all? No, I can't. Today's been wonderfully spent on clearing out my kitchen cupboards and laying bug-repellent paper on them (thank god I didn't see any cockroaches today). Like that is actually such a fun thing to do on Christmas Eve. No going out, or anyth. Which is so boring. I don't even want to spend the rest of my day reading books or anyth. Zzz. I think the whole world is outside now, having fun or something. Yeah, I knw Taylin's dad is bringing her family to Bali today, which beats staying at home and facing mouldy kitchen cupboards. And the number of people online now is like, 30 or so. Pathetic. I'm so going to bury my head into my pillow and suffocate myself or something. Yeah, I knw. Like the title of my post suggests. As this year 2008 is coming to a close in like, one week or so, I suppose it is time to do some reflections on the past year. But as opposed to what I normally do, I find that I need some other outlet to do this reflection. I don't want to do it here, or at least not the complete and full thing. I don't want to do it in my private blog either, since so many people actually has access. Reflections. I suppose I have much to go across this year. What with the clashes during trainings early this year. And my results and everyth else. I am hoping for a new and better year, the way I had the end of last year. Well, I guess. I need to get some of my hype back and stop being passive. Maybe I should take the rest of my Christmas Eve doing some reflections of this year. And some resolution making, perhaps. More later. Happy Christmas Eve people, I hope you're enjoying it. Tired Hello world, I returned stationery shopping today with Sharm and our Sidekick at JP. Anyhow, I'm feeling really tired now due to the excessive walking and everyth else. Nothing much, apart from the fact that we just walked around alot. And I bought myself a ring file for school and folders and all. Yes a notebook and my film index. Omg, I don't knw what to blog about. Staying home tmr, chores again. I hope I don't see any cockroaches anymore. Zzz. Good night. Windfall Monday, December 22, 2008 Alrights updating now though I still feel lazy. These few days have been all about the same. So I also don't really think there's anyth interesting to update about except that I'd been getting a windfall these days. Hoho. On Friday night, my father went to his company's D&D night and he came home really late, and I was the only one still up then. So he asked me whether I am going out on Saturday, which I was, to Marina. And so I told him that and he gave me 10 bucks for it, which was so unusual! Haha. And Saturday I came home and while eating dinner, my father gave me 50 bucks. Because he just got his year-end bonus. Hoho. And yesterday, I learnt that my father stuck lottery and so he gave me 20 bucks again. Like omg haha, I am a rich kid now and have super enough to go stationery shopping with Sharm and have enough leftover for 4H chalet or something. Though chalet I'll get 20 again and I will get about 150 to go get CNY clothes or something. Being rich just feels great doesn't it. =p Went out with my mother and brother to JP today because they haven't seen it. I bought a new pair of jeans and my kitten heels because somebody just doesn't want me wearing heels =p And a new pair of school shoes. Didn't get my backpack though. My mother seems to hate Nike backpacks. But anyhow, I'll get 50 bucks sponsored so I'll pay for the rest if it overflows. Okay anyhow, been tagged by Jennings with this quiz. So I shall do it :D ---- The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italicize the statements you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test. I miss somebody right now. I don't watch TV these days. I own lots of books. I wear glasses or contact lenses. I love to play video games. I've tried marijuana. I have been in a threesome. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy. I curse sometimes. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. [I wished I did, but I guess I'm still pretty much the same.] I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. I'm totally smart. [Yeah right, and I almost got retained ._.] I've broken someone's bones. I'm paranoid sometimes. [Make that all the time.] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. I need money right now. [Even though i'm quite rich now, it wouldn't hurt for more =p] I love sushi. I talk really, really fast. [When I'm nervous, or very worked up.] I have long hair. [Just chopped off.] I have lost money in Las Vegas. I have at least one sibling. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. [When I was like, 5 years old I stuck fake nails on because I thought they looked cool :D] I couldn't survive without caller I.D. I like the way I look. I am usually pessimistic. [Largely so.] I have a lot of mood swings. I have a hidden talent. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. I have a lot of friends. I am currently single. I have pecked someone of the same sex. I enjoy talking on the phone. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. I love to shop. [When I have the means to!] I enjoy window shopping. [But mostly not, so I have this has to suffice.] I would rather shop than eat. [Eating comes before anyth =p] I don't hate anyone. I dislike them. I'm a pretty good dancer. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. I have a cell phone. [WHICH JUST CRASHED.] I believe in God. I watch MTV on a daily basis. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. I've rejected someone before. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. [Yeah, no damn idea.] I want to have children in the future. [Maybe I'll adopt. LOL] I have changed a diaper before. I've called the cops on a friend before. I'm not allergic to anything. [I wish! I'm like allergic to so many things especially fruits ._.] I have a lot to learn. I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. I am shy around the opposite sex. I have tried alcohol before. [And it is not nice at all.] I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. I own the "South Park" movie. I would die for my best friends. [I wished I am sucha good and loyal friend, which I think and knw that I am not.] I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. I have used my sexuality to advance my career. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. I watched Spongebob Squarepants and I like it. I have dated a close friend's ex. I am happy at this moment! [So rare huh? Yeah because I just came home shopping with my mum :D] I'm obsessed with guys. [More like, spotting guys. Haha.] I study for tests most of the time. I'm a good girl! [ Yeah, right.] I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. I can work on a car. I love my job. I am comfortable with who I am right now. I have more than just my ears pierced. I walk barefoot whenever I can. I have jumped off a bridge. I love sea turtles. I spend ridiculous money on makeup. I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. [So I wouldn't end my life as a complete useless fool.] I'm proficient in a musical instrument. I worked at McDonald's restaurant. I hate office jobs. [And irritatingly, they are the ones which pays you alot!] I love sci-fi movies. I think water rules. I went college out of state. I like sausage. I love kisses. I fall for the worst people. I adore bright colours. [I like black..? Haha] I can't live without black eyeliner. I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing. I usually like covers better than originals. I can pick up things with my toes. I can't whistle. I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither. I have ridden/owned a horse. I still have every journal I've ever written in. I can't stick to a diet. [Haha, TOTALLY.] I talk in my sleep. I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. [But this doesn't work most of the time, I just end up feeling like killing myself.] Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. I have jazz in my blood. I wear a toe ring. I have a tattoo. I can't stand at least one person that I work with. I am a caffeine junkie. I know what cosplaying is. I have been to over 15 conventions. I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better. I'm an artist. [I'm completely hopeless at art.] I only clean my room when necessary. I like a person of the same sex. I love being happy. [Erm, more or less, because I go totally high and crazy when I'm happy.] I am an andrenaline junkie. ---- Alrights done. This is an early post, even though it is actually overdue from last night because someone kept making me go to bed early. Lol. So going to JP again with Sharm tmr and doing stationery shopping! Going to JP consecutively for 3 days can get a little boring? Without buying anyth that is. Anyway I was so annoyed that my little gold man Nike backpack was gone today! Urgh. And that mannequin thing with all the swirly metal from its head and makes it look like Medusa, the one which I like in that beads shop, is gone too! Then when I finally decided to settle for a Converse backpack that I previously saw.. And it was gone too. Thank you so alot la. Everyth is so going against me right. Zzz.. Okay anyhow. And my mother thinks that I should get a Zinc bag. PLEASE LA, I TOTALLY CONDEMN ZINC OKAY. IT SUCKS. Okay whatever, I might just have to end up with my old bag again. Well, save it for the nice Roxy wallet I saw the other day then. I am so very materialistic. But then again, it's so very rare that I have anyth more than 8 bucks on me, much less I have like 85 now. So anyth la.. Abit of splurging here and there won't hurt =p I guess I should be more frugal in the new year. And stop myself from becoming constantly broke. Time for some resolution making, studying. And making an effort to actually keep to them. Not to mention saving. Urgh. RVTT chalet Saturday, December 20, 2008 Alrights, am here to update about RVTT chalet because Jennings told me to. Haha.. Got here a little late because I was helping around a little with other blogs.. Hmm okay. So actually, Jenn, you didn't miss out much because there were like.. Lesser than 20 people in the chalet but it's alright, I still had fun. People who went (while I was there) are Szefan, Yujie, Yunrong, Chengli, Yaorong, Yufan, Zhuyi, Peiqi, Shibin, Shaun, Jiaqiang, Antonio, Yangzhi, me and FP. (Er, I hope I didn't miss anyone out) Anyhow, Wednesday afternoon waited around and headed off to Vivo's BK to have lunch with FP. Met Yeejin and she grabbed half of our table too, but she left soon after finishing her meal. Lagged, then went off to Pasir Ris already. When we reached the chalet, it's like.. Quiet and empty. I opened the door to our chalet unit and saw a face staring back, and for a moment I thought I entered the wrong chalet. But then I recognised that that face staring at me was Zhuyi. So entered, put down the bags and went out for a walk at E!Hub. There was nothing much to that place. Shaun called for me to go back, to play mahjong or poker, which FP perked up immediately at that. So we returned to find him and Jiaqiang laughing incessantly at a PSP screen. Apparently watching some comedy. And there turned out to be no mahjong, much to FP's disappointment. Anyway they settled for poker, and Peiqi came over. The two of us sat and watched them play. And Jiaqiang kept laughing like some mad man then going "Eh when's the next funny part? I don't wna watch the boring one." Lol. Eceryone got a little tired after awhile? Stoned and done nothing. Discussed about having a barbecue since the juniors didn't plan on doing so. They were out LAN-gaming and didn't pick up when Shaun called. Zhuyi got through, but the idea didn't go along with them, so I went for dinner at White Sands Mall's KFC with FP while Shibin came. Lagged, upon going back to the chalet, to find everyone watching TV. How uninteresting for a chalet. After the show ended, they started to play games. With funny forfeits because funny people like Jiaqiang thought of it. One was to go out of our chalet at the front porch and do jumping jets saying "Wo ni ta, wo ni ta" because the game is that the players are not supposed to say 'Wo", "Ni", or "Ta". Jiaqiang and Zhuyi both got forfeited once. And they described the embarrassement as worse than being locked in the pitch black toilet which FP was punished by. By night time, we were all quite bored. So the seniors brought us out for a little walk by the beach. After a long walk, and some star-gazing while walking which made me feel dizzy, we arrived at a playground. The things in there all made people feel giddy and wanting to puke. As was the huge saucer thing that can rotate and everyone lied on it and went up and down lol. And so long since I went on a swing. Was fun (: Went "people-watching" with FP while others played around. And, we saw interesting things and a beautiful moon. Discussing whether the airplane that flew across was China Airlines or not xP Was quite enjoyable as we were trying to figure out something. Haha =x Left soon after back to the chalet. Saw lots of flying cockroaches ._. So I decided to bathe in the chalet instead of the toilet by the pool. Fell asleep soon after. I don't believe FP actually wakes up halfway while sleeping and ate fries ._. Such an amazing feat lol. Yeah but anyhow, I actually had quite a good few hours of sleep for a chalet, there were so little people. The seniors were outside chatting while the juniors already conked out way before we did. I woke up once around 6, soon after the seniors left. And FP turned off my alarm at 8am and we lazed abit. That's about it. We left soon leaving the chalet to the few juniors left to checkout. Went eating breakfast and lagging. Normal random stuffs. Anyway, my stupid w890i crashed! It just went bust when I was listening to songs on the bus. When I was alighting I just pressed the button and the screen was screwed up. Lights on, no images. Damn you Sony Ericsson. Now I have to send my phone for servicing. So people, don't call or text me because I msot likely can't receive it. But even if I do, I won't knw who you are. My bro's deleted all my contacts in my old phone. Ah well. That's all already. My day today was spent, literally battling cockroaches and their shit looking egg cases with my Baygon. Damn, I must have killed what, 15 or more cockroaches today? I think I'm gna have nightmares about cockroaches tonight. Eww. Yeah, worth mentioning, I crushed one behing a pile of tiles. It's... Really pretty damn gross because it was flatter than a waffle. Oops. Alright, enough of my sadistic tendencies. Off to bed! Good night world! Updates Friday, December 19, 2008 Back from RVTT chalet. Still feeling quite shagged, but shall post. Finally here to update about my Genting trip, just gotten some photos from my cousin as well. Wouldn't go into great detail about it, nor post every single picture I've got. The trip's been over for awhile now, so I most probably wouldn't remember everyth too. 1112 - Friday [Singapore//Genting] Woke up early morning and took cab to the place where my family was supposed to meet to board the coach. Met all my uncles, aunts and cousins, boarded the coach. After clearing Singapore and Malaysia customs, basically I just slept all the way until Genting, only waking up when the coach stopped over for lunch. Reached Genting at around 2 or 3+ that afternoon. I don't feel that it's very cold there or anyth. Then on was a long wait for our hotel room allocation. We were supposed to be staying in First World Hotel (anyway I think it sucks ._.). I swear I almost turned into a fossil or something, We waited until it was like close to 6pm? Almost died. Checked in, changed and went out for dinner already.  Jianjie in the foggy place.  Christmas lighting in hotel lobby.  Mum and bro.  Forever spastic bro.  Me and my 2nd aunt and uncle.  Omg, unglam.  Me and bro again. At night was going out walk walk with Jianjie and his girlf around the place. After awhile I returned to the hotel room and I wanted to sleep because I was feeling so tired but my irritating brother kept making me play poker with him ._. Fell asleep anyhow by midnight. Missed the feast of Marry Brown my parents brought back after their night at the casino.  Pasted on one of the stores at the dinner place. Looks...funny. Lol.   Super act cute bro. 1212 - Saturday [Genting] Nothing much about this day, I woke up really late. I have no idea why I felt so tired. Anyhow, by the time I woke up, the hotel room was already empty. Apparently my brother went to the outdoor theme park with my cousins and only I'm sleeping in. Anyhow, got permission from my parents to go shop alone. Mostly just walked around the place quite aimlessly. For one thing, everyth there is so freaking expensive I can't bear to buy much. Saw Pearly there too, quite a coincidence (: After I got tired of walking around, I went to the hotel lobby's Starbucks, and got myself a nice cup of Mocha Frappucino. Slightly colder on that day, and very foggy. But the feeling of drinking ice cold coffee in the cold wind is damn shuang seriously!  The fog. Not much photos for the day, I was mostly alone until dinner time. Night was going to the arcade with all my cousins. Anyway, Jianjie is pretty crazy for breaking the record of the boxing game, only 100 points away from perfect score! Freaking crazy. Then played many other games and it was alot of fun. Especially scamming other people's credits when they don't realise they tapped one time too many (actually three times xD). Then was Jianjie's treat to Pizza Hut! Omg damn nice :D Had alot of fun that night. And I returned to the hotel room not really feeling that tired, so played poker with my bro again. He never gets sick of it, it seems. Then my parents returned with the feast I missed. And this time I didn't miss it again. Heh. So ends my second and last night in Genting. 1312 - Sunday [Genting // Singapore] Last day in Genting. Woke up bright and early and went for breakfast at the Oldtown White Coffee place. After much fussing around, my parents decided that they liked the coffee shop better. LOL. Hmm anyhow, nothing much for the day. Went back to the shop to change a necklace because I found a defect in the one I bought. Somehow my mother was the one doing the talking, and man, I must say the sales girl who spoke to my mother is one suay woman. Anyhow, because she told my mother that she is not in charge of the department and the in charge will only come in around afternoon... She got flamed. My mother and her typical auntie spirit lol. Then went back to the hotel room and packed, after which we checked out and deposited our bags at the Bell counter of the hotel. Then I brought my bro, and two other cousins to the arcade again. Fun again, and spent quite alot too. But well, who cares la actually just going there to relax and enjoy =p By about 1.15pm I brought them back to the hotel lobby to gather with the rest and prepared to board the coach back to home..  My parents and my unglam bro with his bubble gum.  Me with my cousin.  The men on the trip :D  Me and Jianjie again.    Jianli with his wife (right), Jianjie's girlf and me.  (: I guess that's about it. The trip was fun with so many people and I drank Starbucks everyday but back here, I am freaking broke man D: Hopefully will be able to go to other countries with my cousins again (: Hmm.. I shall post about RVTT chalet another day, it's getting sort of exhausting. But anyhow I think the chalet was pretty fun because of the crazy seniors there and the juniors who were...not always there lol. Alright will blog about it maybe tmr night. Tmr is a day to battle with cockroaches again. Brr... Good night world. Lazy Wednesday, December 17, 2008 Wanted to update about my trip to Genting initially. But am feeling too lazy to do so. Should sleep soon, before I get owned by my father a third night in a row =/ Heading off to RVTT chalet tmr. Hope it will be fun, though I have so little company tsk. Still.. Good night people. Back Sunday, December 14, 2008 Back from Genting, finally. Feeling tired. Will update soon, with photos. Off to Genting Thursday, December 11, 2008 Hello world, today will not be a lazy post, because I am going off to Genting in less than 8 hours. So shall try and post something more. Anyhow, past few days were all spent pretty much the same way, light and enjoyable. Same for today, went to JP with FP in search of some nice backpacks. Nike ones are pretty nice, and not all that costly. My mother's gna sponsor me about 40 bucks for it, so I'll try and pay for the rest.. My brother's tryna be really irritating beside me now -.- We walked into the newly extended JP. And ohmygod, is it freaking big or not. I think it is like equivalent to Vivo already. And the shops there are also very interesting, and not as high-end as those in Vivo. Plan to go there walk walk with Sharm too after I'm back from Genting (: But of course, I wish I were loaded so I can afford those slightly expensive but pretty stationery! If I feel extravagant enough that is.. Going Genting tmr already, coming back on 13th around night time. Heard from quite a few people that Genting's been raining alot so they can't really enter the theme parks to play. Actually I'm not that interested in the theme parks, just getting away for awhile. Hope I can buy some nice stuffs there, since I wouldn't be spending my own money and I'm quite itching to spend LOLL. So many thing I want to get but I don't even feel like spending anyth urghh.. Ohwell so yep, would be away till 13th then. So yes, I am supposed to blog about my friend Mei Junhao, since he said I made him post about me, which i so did not. It was a passing comment and he agreed willingly ._. Ohwell okay, I shall blog about him. You didn't do a very good job anyway Junhao! Tsk. Okayyy anyhow... My first impression of this guy is just...well, a normal guy. No particular deep impressions or anyth. But I thought he was like a joker. Not really serious about anyth, and gives alot of seriously skeptical remarks sometimes. Reminds me alot of my own pessimistic self. But anyhow, there's been quite a few times lately when we'd chatted for awhile, and I've also been reading his blog posts. And I find that he is someone who thinks alot into things and not the regular joker I've been seeing for the past years. So yep, I don't think it's too late to knw this guy over again. His thoughts are quite entertaining, or at least it makes me think some about myself too. But still, friend I've got to say you need to see things more wholly because there are still some things you fail to see. Maybe you only want to see the good in others, but that's not the way to life. I bet you knw that too. I knw labels that people put on us are hard to change or remove, but I think you should show the side of you that come in when you're writing your blog posts. Alright that's all friend. So to whoever's interested, I've uploaded my new look, actually is pretty old la. I cut this hairstyle before already. But whatever la, I post for shuang also can.   Yeah, I'm staring at you. Good night world, back soon. Short hair days Wednesday, December 10, 2008 Lazy to blog much. I have short hair now! Okay that's all =/ Shoo to the dark cloud. Tuesday, December 9, 2008 Drafted post of 7th December Yeps, finally feeling quite good for today. Probably because talking about things and getting some assurance, and laughing about all the dumb things I'd imagined is always good. I'm glad I did, though it was really quite funny and ridiculous sometimes. Didn't do much these days, but been going out alot. It's been pretty light and enjoyable, much better than the recent few days of dark clouds looming over. It's gone away thankfully. Spinning around shopping malls had been quite fun, even though I'm not looking for anyth in particular. Been looking at prices for hamster cages today, and they are not cheap =/ Still, gna try out for those that cost less, or it's saving up for me! I have a long time till my 17th birthday (: Okay, tmr going to go over to Zhijun's place to get my long sleeves back since I'm going to Genting soon. Got my jacket back from FP today too. And the news just reported of a coach going to Genting that crashed, 10 casualties and 18 injured. Pretty saddening =/ Erm, hope nothing happens to me. Ohwell, tmr will be the usuals. Nothing much now. It's just really late. Should go off already. ---- Post of 8th December Woke up today in pouring rain, this kind of weather just makes me want to sleep in. So I turned off my alarm at 9.30am and slept on for another 45 minutes or so. Finally decided to get up. Anyhow, I didn't knw that it's public holidays today so I was quite stunned when I saw my father at home, lol. Went out after awhile to Zhijun's place. Got my clothes back and my bottle which I'd accidentally left at her house when I went there last soccer training. Then left for Vivo and waited for FP. Went to eat lunch at Carl's Junior! Ahh the huge burger is just satisfying :D Will go again when I have the money, haha. Then went looking at Roborovskis and Toy Poodles again. The Poodles were interesting today, very active, and the Terriers as well. Cute to see them behave like that, and I'm sure FP agrees too =p Spent a really long time in the pet shop, next was the shop opposite that sells all the anime and cartoon stuffs. Was watching Deathnote 2 in the shop. Haha still so nice. Went to only so little places in the huge Vivo, but a few good hours had already passed, so we went home on 97. Sian cannot go to the steamboat tmr. My father was quite unhappy that I reached home pass 7pm today, aye normal time lo, he just happened to be home today. And I have no money since I'm going out stationery shopping with Sharm on Wednesday. Need to save all that I have now, which is slightly over 10. Urgh, hope I'll get more so that can go shop and enjoy! I'm going for my annual haircut in about 7 hours' time. And man, it's better not screw or I think I will need a wig already. Zzz, imagining the worse ._. Ohwell getting late. Should turn in early today in case I fall asleep tmr and the hairdresser screw up my hair =/ Wish me luck sia. & Happy Birthday Yufan! Verge of Insanity. Saturday, December 6, 2008 I am positive that I am driving myself crazy soon. For what and why? I wished I knew. Didn't do much today. Woke up early by my father's phone call at 9am to help him edit some report that he has to submit. So I sort of grudgingly dragged myself out of bed, feeling really tired. Took me so long before I successfully accessed his email and downloaded the attachment because my internet connection was quite unstable at that time. Didn't have too much to edit, since I'd already gone through with my father last night and he just added in some new information and tables only but wanted me to check through. So I got done quite quickly and sent it back to his office email account. Then I lagged around and prepared to go out. Went to Vivo today with FP. Lagged at KFC for quite long, then was random walking again. Went to the pet shop at the top floot of Vivo and we self-entertained again. The toy poodle was cute. Haha, I like the Roborovski! Thinking of getting one since it costs only 30 bucks. It's been years since I had my last hamster. But then again, maybe not. I'm afraid I might not be quite responsible enough to take good care of it. Though maybe just one would be easier to manage. Don't knw. Will be considering getting one anyhow (: Hmm okay. Nothing much to today. Just feeling rather vexed at nothing in particular. And I really don't like this feeling because I can't identify the problem. But I hope things will revert back to normal after a night's sleep or something. I hate this feeling and wish that it would go away soon. Tmr will be a better day, I hope. Back to normal. Friday, December 5, 2008 Feeling tired, slept for only 3 hours or so last night. Woke up at around 5 this morning and went out half an hour later. Well, today was a pretty beautiful morning. I see broad daylight, and I haven't felt so alive for really long. Stayed out pretty long just talking and eating and just lagging till late morning then went back. Came back home and just lagged. But felt really tired after awhile and went to nap for about 3 hours. Finally able to sleep well after the few nights of losing sleep. And.. That's all to today? Yeah, not exactly alot of things to talk about. But that's alright. My life of freedom is back :D Good night world. & Happy Birthday Jonathan Koh! I want it all back. Thursday, December 4, 2008 I hope I can get a good night's sleep tonight. Have been losing a good few hours of sleep past few nights to unknown reasons. I really don't knw why, though a few people have given me some clues on why is that so, and I think I kind of agree with it. Results being me falling asleep only near 3am or so. And waking up feeling freaking tired. Now I kind of dread the time when I have to go to bed because I knw it's a gna be a period of tossing around until I finally drift off to sleep. Zzz, I wonder what's wrong. I've never been someone having any problems with sleeping. Nap or not, I fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow. So this is actually bugging me a good deal. Well, I hope it ends soon anyhow. Anyway I have stopped at 420 and don't want to nor find the purpose to continue anymore. So this afternoon had been a bit tough to waste so I just read and read books that I'd borrowed. Okay so I mopped the house and baked cookies today. I'd never really been good at cookies to be honest but this time round even my mother said it was nice (: Ah yeah, being stupid I scalded my finger again. And it's damn painful. Much worse than all those before. Ohwell. Haven't been out of the house for 3 days straight. Growing rusty and mouldy soon. Still, out in the open tmr, broad daylight, early morning. Hope it's good. Been freaking paranoid today about stupid things and I feel like banging my head on the wall after torturing myself with these thoughts for a whole day. Still, thanks Irene, Sweecheng, Chienying, Junhao and Yunyi for trying to make things better. I conclude that I have too much free time and am going crazy. Sorry for my stupidity. Need to kick all of these away. I want my sleep back. I want my sunny days out to waste back. I want it all back. Ohwell. Sleeping soon I suppose. Even though I really hope that the tossing and insomnia doesn't kick in again tonight. I don't want to oversleep tmr. Just 6 more hours I'm seeing broad daylight again. I hope nothing goes wrong. I might be joining some others to go out random walking tmr haha. Shall see how it goes. Really really hope things turn out fine. Okay stop thinking negatively. Good night world. Tmr is gna be a beautiful day, or at least I hope so. 1 last day. Wednesday, December 3, 2008  Pretty little things. I am becoming a hermit. Stayed at home for the whole day again, just didn't feel like going out. Feeling very tired these days because I'd been sleeping late. Even though I napped for an hour just now I still feel quite drained. I'm sleeping in 30 minutes' time. The Suzhou people are back. Haha, Lim Sweecheng just said he bought something for me. That's very nice of him since I didn't tell him to :D And I just found the 4th person who has the same subject combination as me, Sharm and Swee. Yep. Alright, I've had enough of this week with my staying home and doing chores. Let's see. I'd done laundry every night, cleaned out the fridge, cleared out the kitchen cupboards, washed the toilets (-.-), cleared out the wardrobes and tmr, I mean later on, I'm mopping down the whole house and baking cookies. Woah, it's really been quite a stay-home-and-be-a-good-girl week. Haha. Alright, after the people from Beijing come back, I think I'll hardly want to stay home at all. I really can't wait to go out and breathe some fresh air. And I can't do that till Thursday. But it's okay. Worth the wait. 3 days in a row of staying at home is just so not me. I don't knw what to say already. I shall do laundry and sleep. And this time tmr, it's less than 6 hours till I see broad daylight again. Lol. 1 last day. Good night, world. Tonight. Tuesday, December 2, 2008 FM Statc - Tonight I remember the times we spent together On those drives We had a million questions All about our lives And when we got to New York Everything felt right I wish you were here with me Tonight I remember the days we spent together Were not enough And it used to feel like dreaming Except we always woke up Never thought not having you Here now would hurt so much Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up And every night I miss you I can just look up And know the stars are Holding you, holding you, holding you Tonight I remember the time you told me About when you were eight And all those things You said that night that just couldn't wait I remember the car you were last seen in And the games we would play All the times we spilled our coffees And stayed out way too late I remember the time you sat and Told me about your Jesus And how not to look back Even if no one believes us When it hurt so bad sometimes Not having you here... I sing Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up I need your loving hands to come and pick me up And every night I miss you I can just look up And know the stars are Holding you, holding you, holding you Tonight Post of 1st December below. 2 days. Nothing much for today, did chores for my mother which took up a good part of my afternoon. And gave me blisters, that burst. Next was finger exercise. Zzz. Shoulders aching like shit now, like really feeling sore. Ahwell.. Anyways, rather disappointed that the most beautiful hope of 1000 have to go unfulfilled and wasted because nothing can contain them. Now I have to settle with maximum 300.. D: I still hope it'll make a good present. Slept way too late last night. It was approaching 3am when I finally drifted off to sleep. Well, gna try to sleep earlier today since I'm feeling quite tired already. I had quite a scary bad dream last night. Can't even let me sleep in peace after my extreme fatigue. Dreamt of a dumb guy who broke into my house, I was in a semi-detached like my grandma's house in Malaysia. Yeah, the guy had a knife and was trying to kill me. Zzz. Encountered a disgusting little cockroach again today while doing chores. What the hell, but I gave it a good swim anyhow. I shall declare my hate for cockroaches. So, today was me cooped up at home like a hermit, and nothing more. And tmr will be pretty much the same since I don't really feel like going out for shuang now that I am no longer on concession for the holidays. Damn, I might just get bored to death soon. Plans for next few days are chores, finger exercise and baking cookies on the 3rd (: I wished the next two days can just be fast forwarded or something. Sian, cough isnt getting any better. I'd always start to have this irritating little itch in my throat in the most inappropriate of places. Like on buses for example, I'll start to feel the need to cough my lungs out and people start to stare. And it looks like spamming Strepsils doesn't really work too. Need help man. I said I will do many things this holidays. Like maybe go for an occasional run, abit of studying and stuffs. But I haven't done anyth. To be honest I don't have much of a heart to do anyth these days. Not even go out or anyth. Just stay home and rot or do some chores and my finger exercises. Urgh. I need time to zoom past. 3 texts today, FP's went mad, haha. But I'm not complaining (: 2 days. Over in a flash I hope. Good night people. 3 days. Monday, December 1, 2008 Replies to tags: Jennings> Hello, what a rare tagger! :D Owl Subject> LOL who cares what it's called la, it's crushed in my hands anyway! Me and my sadistic tendencies hoho. And you're still on the plane now to Sydney! Yunyi> Hahaha I told you, nothing is alive in there, or at least nothing was when I crushed it. And it definitely can't fit millions of roaches ._. And you where got sleep early la.. Rubbish. And annual haircut day is out of bounds to everyone except me and the hairdresser! Like I said, annual. It's v important okay. Lollll. Swee> Haha you dumb pig, I'm surprised to see you here anytime. LOL. I thought you guys have some special arrangements to see your subject combi? Alrights, anyhow, I sent it to your email already. Go see see ba, potential future classmate. Haha. MJH> Good luck indeed, I might just poison my family. Anyway my brother killed it, poor Jiachen huh? Lol. --- I feel really, really braindead now. The after-effects of excess finger exercise.. Oh my goodness. Shoulders and neck aching, fingers cramping and I can't type properly. Worse, to top it all off, I really feel drained of all energy now. And I still have 700 more to go.. I hope it's worth it! But I feel very tired. Really very tired. I woke up at 6.15am today to send a text out to Yijun and Taylin, hope they have fun for training trip to China. Then fell back to sleep and only woke up at like 1pm. Was feeling really tired. I didn't do much today, didn't go out with my mother either because she said she wasn't feeling well. So I went out alone. Just for the sake of getting out, didn't buy much. That's all. But I feel really tired. I think I should go to sleep now. I suddenly hate my blog song. I mean, not hate but don't like the sound of it because it's a little too loud and powerful for my mind now zzz. Removing it for the time being, until I find something perhaps a little softer.. And maybe I will change my blog skin soon. Time is passing quickly but perhaps still not quite fast enough. 3 days. The wait seems to get longer every night. I... Don't knw how to describe what I'm feeling now. Maybe I am really too tired. I feel weak and tired. I think I should sleep more. Good night people. Tmr will be a better day, I hope. |
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