Let me dream.

8 days.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I wish I had something more interesting to talk about or do to stop myself going crazy.

I hate this kind of life, mundane and absolutely meaningless. I wished I had something better to do. Like get myself into my books, or something. Anyth. Why can't time pass as fast as they do when I'm mugging for my physics, or history. Why can't I occupy myself in a more productive way?

Like who cares if I woke up at 2pm today, or if I lagged around my house until Yeejin texted me and asked me out to JP for a spin? Who cares if I have absolutely nothing to do but self-entertain? Who cares if I almost sprained my ankle yesterday just bringing the stupid laundry in because of my wet kitchen floor? Yeah, like who cares. This life just sucks right down to the core.

I hate what you said, what you deemed I cannot do. I knw I can if I want to, you just wait and see. What I am now is not what I can be. I can't help it if you don't want to believe, but I'm trying. Can't you see this? It doesn't even matter to me how far I go, it doesn't even matter to me. But why are you sealing my fate right now and passing the judgement when there's still so long to go? Y'knw this, we'll just wait and see.. I'll show you that you, were so wrong, about me.

I just realised before going to sleep last night that this isn't enough. I can't complain because this is all I can get, but it just isn't enough after waiting for so long everyday. I'm sorry, I knw you want to tell me more but you're restricted. And I'm sorry I can't help but ask for more. Everyday, in this 24 hours, I sleep so much of it away. But the rest of my waking hours, I'm waiting. But maybe it's alright. It's worth it. It's alright. I knw it is. I should just feel contented on my part that I can still tell you more.

I should feel happier. More fortunate. I should..

This life sucks. But I guess, I'll live through it somehow. And maybe learn something out of it or do something productive at the end of the day. I just found out that I'll be going to Genting with my parents and some relatives in December 11th to 13th. Which isn't good. Ohwell. Like who cares right. Everyone is either offline already at this time or not talking to me. And I feel that I'm on the edge of insanity.

Unorganised and random as always. Good night people. I'll just learn to sleep earlier and another day will be over. And tmr, a whole new cycle starts again..
8 days will be over soon, I shall believe.

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Sinyee. 17.
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