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Awakening Friday, June 13, 2008  This is the new beginning. My awakening. Nothing much on today. Intended to wake up at 8.30am to do homework, but ended up lazing till 9.30am. And since my pig brother was still asleep, and didn't look like he was gna wake up anytime soon, I had no place to study, so I decided to go out to the frontier library to mug alone. Did math and read some books. Stayed for like 6 hours there alone and it was so cold, even with my jacket on. But well, it was no achievement though I do feel some sense of it, since today's by far the most productive day I've had for ages. And tmr, shopping with my mother. Watching some movie as well, Indiana Jones I think. Hope it will be good. Been going out alot, spending alot especially. Trying to curb my expenses these days. I still have yet to pay for the class chalet coming in just a few days' time and of course, to recover the rest of it. Feeling a little worn out from many things. Not just physically. Yes. But I guess, all things I've known by now is enough to make my mind up for me. I've been thinking alot the past few days, about so many things of my life. My passiveness, my denial, my reluctance and all that angst, towards what really? I don't knw. I want to put an end to this irritating passiveness. this little voice that comes into my mind everytime I have the slightest bit of deviation of opinions from my norm. Y'knw I really don't knw what happened to me, and my thinking. Towards everyth. It just seems that things have changed and I am not that ready to adapt to it. Somehow, somehow. I guess now's the time. From the time I sat in Sakae with the rest, I felt it again. The feeling of being with the crowd, laughing about the same things, and just being there and having fun. Somehow. It's gna start all over again, yes, with different people. Completely different people. And yes, those who knw it. I knw I can. Because the place had always been waiting for me to go back. New beginning awaits. |
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